Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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