508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
