Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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