i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
