Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
