I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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