I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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