saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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