You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize