Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you would pick up someone in the library
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
