Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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