is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He felt like a one man threesome
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
