Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
