everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
