girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
