Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
