My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i drank out of a bidet.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
