it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
