You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
