omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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