Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
