Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
