I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
