she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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