Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize