just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize