are you still at the devil's house?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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