its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
