hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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