Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
