He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
