worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
