Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
