sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
