she was so not down for the gang bang
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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