she was so not down for the gang bang
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
