Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
