Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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