i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
