I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
