Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
