you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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