its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
