saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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