He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
