I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
