May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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