We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
