Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
