Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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