What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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