I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
