Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
