she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
