I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
