there was a trapeze. enough said
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
