Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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