Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
