his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
