Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
