i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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