For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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