dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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