is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I faked an abortion last night.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
