During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
