If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize