drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
