Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
