Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
