I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
