First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize