I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
as a side note pls kill me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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