i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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