She is in my trunk
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
