i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
