you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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