I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize