porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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